After I wrote Shine your Wisdom Thru me, I made myself an herbal tea and took a vibrant happy walk outside. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. The trees and mountains appeared greener than ever. Not to mention the flowers. It was one of these days, where everything and anything dance together in harmony, and I am there, fortunate enough to pick it up, aware enough to appreciate and be grateful.
Writing this post seemed to trigger a friendly stream of thoughts. All, with a theme, all around that “flow state” quote or poem I wrote. By flow state, I mean that magical place where you are present, and everything seems to happen effortlessly. That state attracted me, and/or my mind. It made me wonder. Can this become the norm? Can we be in tune with this higher universal intelligence all the time? So deeply connected, that everything simply and constantly “flows” thru us?
About being present
Now, obviously, these are all mind types of questions. Another variation of those endless “spiritual quests”, if you will. But then again, as I described in my previous post, during that experience, I may have stumbled upon something important.
It’s a moment where you are fully present. Yet, there is very little personal point of view or even thoughts. It almost like the mind now is following this higher intelligence, rather than leading.
You then find yourself in the midst of remarkable experiences that are so different from “your norm”, that it is very clear you are “being helped”.
And, there is more. I also noticed that the mind functions much better after these experiences. Hours even days after. It is calm, it is sharp. It is actually a wonderful companion. Think about your old laptop after a fresh reboot. A minute before the reboot, it took you 2 minutes just to lookup a picture. And when it finally loaded, you realized it was the wrong one…Now, after the reboot, you find yourself editing dozens of pictures. All at the same time. And your laptop is not even blinking. Who are you and what did you do to my old laptop?
Do we need to give up our personalities to become more spiritual?
When I first discovered self inquiry*, I also learned about a concept where you “lose” your personality.
*Self Inquiry or Self-enquiry is the attention to the inner awareness of the self, recommended by Ramana Maharshi as the most efficient and direct way of self-discovering.
Losing what? I know. At first, it sounded so weird, that I didn’t know if this was a joke, or legit spiritual teaching. What drugs were these folks taking? I need that too. All of them! My egoic driven mind was happily throwing some sarcastic punches feeling all superior and fancy. And it was just getting warmed up. But wait, it gets better. I saw videos where people that appeared quite intelligent and well spoken, were sharing their experiences. “I am empty, I can’t find my person anymore. There’s nothing there. I am nothing. And it feel amazing”.
Obviously my mind was getting very suspicious. My B.S. alert was on. I mean, really?!?! You can’t find your person, what?!?
Then, I meditated.
I let everything “personal” go. Just for the sake of the exercise. And it happened to me too. You see, our personalities are nothing but a cluster of ideas and beliefs we have gathered since the day we were borned. And perhaps, before. Ideas we have about ourselves and our place in the world.
But then, if you remove these ideas, what remains? You are left with a silent “empty” space. No thoughts. No ideas. Definitely not opinions. Not even preferences. In fact, your personal identify doesn’t even seem relevant anymore. What remains is pure love that fills every essense of you. So powerful I can say it is intense in the most nourishing gentle way. It is nothing, and everything, at the same time. And, as hard it may be to describe it in words, it actually feels so natural. True wonder.
And then, the “person is back”
Then, I opened my eyes. For a few minutes, I was trying to figure out what just happened. My body was still there. All the memories, opinions, “personal” identify. I am still aware of all of these. Nothing disappeared. No need to go file a missing report. I still remembered I didn’t wash the dishes or cleaned the coffee pot. It’s all good.
Something did feel different, though.
It’s not that the personality was gone or changed. The difference was that my sense of self. I was aware of who or what “I am”. And all I had to do from that point on, was to remember this. Remember, and not forget.
In other words, pay attention to where you put your attention. Watch this old habit where you put your attention and “get lost” in personal matters that are not even important. And, it’s a tricky habit that manifests in all sort of shapes and forms.
Don’t give up on the person, love him/her even more
Something quite profound happened to me today as I was doing my “epic” afternoon walk. Remember? The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the trees, the flowers, the mountains. The sights, the aroma, the warmth of the sun on my skin…All this nourishment for all of my senses, all at the same time.
Seriously, if someone will ever measure my dopamine levels when I am at that state…they would come up with some ridiculously high levels. Suspiciously high.
Then, out of the blue, I noticed a woman walking towards me. She was speaking to herself, kind of arguing. Her body language troubled my mind. And, based on her clothes and physical appearance, my mind quickly assumed she probably found herself in some sort of a homeless situation.
The immediate thing that came to my mind was to avoid contact. I doubt my mind registered her as any sort of a potential threat. Still, the following thought that came was “do not make eye contact”. Clearly, there was a sense of discomfort. Very different from all this wonderful high I felt just a second before. Like a dark cloud that all of a sudden covers the sun. On a completely bright sunny summer day. And you just arrived to the beach. What?
To put things in context, I almost always smile and greet to everyone. Random people, dogs and pretty much everything as I do my walk. It’s like an automated response. And it is not because of social obligations. This joy and love to all just goes thru and out of me.
Well, not this time. There was a sense of heaviness.
Love all of you, Love all your perfect imperfections
Now, to the important part. Why seeing her made me feel uncomfortable? Before my mind was able to come up with a brilliant answer to defend this sort of “defensive” response, a realization came. One that brought me to tears.
I was thrown into a space of love. So intense that it made my entire being very quiet and still. There was no discomfort. There was no heaviness. The dark cloud could not be seen. Was it ever there?
At this moment, there was no separation between this woman and me. We were both one with everything around us. We had no forms or bodies. There is this love for the “person”. That human expression of us. Love to all of us, love to all our perfect imperfections and flaws.
(And if you can relate to these words, you may enjoy John Legend – All of Me.)
A wakeup call for enlightenment
As my mind started to process this, it quickly translated this love into compassion. And before I knew it, I was in tears, feeling grateful for this love. For this “ability” to experience this love. The personal situation, as it seems, is only a temporary expression.
See, there was nothing wrong with this woman or her situation. Our interaction triggered something that was already in me. And that uncomfortable feeling was a wake up call. An invitation, if you will, for spiritual growth.
On a mind level, we can say that there’s fear. Ergo, that feel of discomfort. Watch out! Danger! In particular, a fear from these types of situations where we lose our sanity, health, or financial security. Where we lose control of our life. I mean, you hear about these situations every day. They can happen to everyone. Human life can be very dynamic. But then, there’s the being side of the human being, which can witness that fear. We can connect to this universal love and reboot the system.
About human interactions
This interaction made me realize something. Everyday we interact with different people. And, it doesn’t matter if we actually end up talking to them, or just seeing them passing by. It is still an interaction. In the background, our mind is working really hard to collect and analyze data from this interaction.
Now, some of these interactions may trigger a sense of discomfort. We can of course blame it on the other person. “OMG! She’s such a drama queen. What an energy drainer!”
Or, you can give space and try to discover what is that inside of you, that has resurfaced after this interaction. It’s an invitation to spiritual growth. It’s an opportunity to learn and to grow. This is why you never want to give up the person. In fact, you find yourself just loving him or her even more. Love to all of you, love to all your perfect imperfections.
Last, but not least. This also works on the other symmetrical situation. Let’s say you have an interaction with someone. Then, all of a sudden, he or she is just flipping out on you. Later, you may find yourself thinking really hard what went wrong. What did I do? Is it something I said? Is it something I didn’t say? This can be a heavy torture involving things like guilt, shame, and others. And, here’s the parallel. Who really knows why this person flipped? Is it even related to you? Maybe he or she just had a day from hell just before they saw you. Maybe their hormones are out of whack. Even more, there’s a chance they may not even know or aware of them being upset.
Then of course, it’s also the perfect time to look within, and see why this interaction triggered all these things in you.
Until our next talk, Aloha and love.
