Unlike many realizations that came when I was fully present, today’s post describes the opposite. Catching myself being totally not present. Long story short, this actually manifested into a beautiful long state of presence with all these wild synchronicities. There was a valuable lesson there. So what exactly happened?
Well, it started with traffic. We know research has linked traffic to negative mental health outcomes, such as stress and aggression. But, what traffic has to do with spiritual growth?
Now, to put things in context, I should add something here. Living in a place like Hawaii, you may expect the “stuck in traffic” experience to be a bit different. And there’s some truth to this. Traffic jams often present an opportunity to enjoy some spectacular views. You cross volcano mountains with lush jungles, waterfalls…Think about Jurassic park, from your own car. And I mean it literally. This is one of the locations where the movie was filmed. Then, in a matter of a minute you cross a turquoise ocean. The warmth loving touch of the sun makes you wonder if your car even has a top or windows. And sometimes, you get to see all of these at the same time. Speaking about a states of awe.
This wild raw beauty of nature can be so intense, it sometimes feels like it is almost screaming at you with the most peaceful loving way, shaking your entire being. “Wake up! Can you feel this?” There were numerous times where I had tears in my eyes as I was passing near some spots.
Today, however, I am not writing about these types of experiences. Quite the opposite, actually.
Stuck in traffic…
Some time ago I was driving in heavy traffic. After about 40 minutes of “driving” it finally cleared. This didn’t make any difference to me. I left early and I knew I would make it on time to my meeting regardless. No worries. Just like the mind loves. A plan comes together.
Then it suddenly hit me. Did I cross the tunnels already? On this highway, there are the famous Nuʻuanu Pali Tunnels, well known for their location’s dramatic nature scenes, that are constantly changing. I had literally no memory of me driving in the tunnels that day! Yet, based on my location, it was clear that I did.
To put things in perspective, I didn’t miss a stop sign or an exit. I actually “missed” a 30 seconds drive during the day. Not to mention, a drive that includes some dramatic changes, including getting in and out of two long tunnels. How could I possibly miss that? Did I fall asleep? Was I tired that day? Nope. Was I speaking on the phone, texting, etc.? No.
In fact, I can’t even recall what was I thinking about during that drive. Nothing was on my mind that time that seemed important enough to get my attention. To sum up, clearly, I was not present to say the least. I was barely conscious. Classic auto pilot mode. Perhaps I was abducted by aliens?
Where Did my Attention Go?
Dealing with the Monkey Mind
This realization kind of put me into a bit of a shock. What happened to this missed time? Where did “I” go? Does this also happen in other situations? And if so, how often?
Now, this is a common thing during meditation, which can be easily observed. The mind just goes everywhere. So, you “catch” yourself “lose” your attention. For example, you start your morning meditation by placing your attention on your heart. Then, all of a sudden, you realize you are already in the midst of some serious thinking about your morning coffee. “Should I do pour over or french press? Or, maybe I should do matcha instead. Oh, maybe I would add theanine to the coffee today. Yes, that’s a great idea. Haven’t done it for awhile…
Then, you “wake up” as you witness these thoughts. You bring your attention back only to lose it again a few min later. Your busy mind is now trying to figure out how to resolve some situation you have at work, even though today is Saturday. It seems that the mind can always find something else completely not important to think about.
What I just described is known as the “Monkey mind”. It’s a Buddhist term that refers to that part of the brain that becomes easily distracted. What I realized after that “tunnel attention abduction incident”, is that we can use this natural tendency of the mind that “steals” our attention, to actually become more conscious and accelerate our spiritual growth.
The Conscious Hunter-gatherer
What I am suggesting here is very simple. Become alert, and wait to “catch” yourself “losing” your attention. Just like a hunter, waiting for the prey. To clarify, this is not a negative thing we are trying to catch. Allow space for this discovery. Allow this stream of thoughts and internal dialogue freely come and go. At the same time, don’t judge or engage with these thoughts or feelings. If you do, this is exactly you “losing” your attention. 🙂 How clevel this mind is. As you can see, this can get very subtle and a bit tricky, in particular with these thoughts you strongly identify with. This is probably why it can be such an effective “spiritual” tool by itself.
You may say that unlike the hunter who eventually eats its prey, we are much more vegan friendly. We simply want to observe it closely rather than killing anyone. The hunter becomes a National Geographic explorer. How’s that?
I find this simple “practice” very useful during times where I have to wait anyway for something. Or, when I have one of those conversations where the other person is doing most of the talking. Where you already know where this conversation is going, but want to allow him or her to speak without interrupting. It can also be a great thing to do during walking meditations. I do it quite often.
Hope you find this helpful. Until our next talk, aloha and love.
