Last night after dinner, I found myself spontaneously going into some sort of a meditative state, with my eyes open. There was a sense of sadness in me. Subtle, yet enough to “catch” my attention. This sadness, however, seemed different. It was almost like I was observing me feeling sadness, but not feeling sad at all.
There was deep sadness, yet, there was no discomfort. And, everything was calm, quiet and still.
Does it even make sense? When you watch a sad movie, you often find yourself totally into the story. So much, you can completely relate to how the characters feel. You may cry and think about it for days, even years after. Relive your favorite scenes in your mind as you are the character. Live an entire day as you are him, or her. But then, it’s just a movie, so its ok to feel sad, right? It’s ok to feel depressed, mad, or angry, right? Because after all, we are just “playing”, it is not real, right? Remember this point, because it’s super important. We’ll get back to it.
Slicing down an emotion
Anyway, back to last night. As you can guess, this sadness was much more intimate than a movie. It was deep inside of me. I could sense that there was something in me that felt this sadness. It was alive, it was gentle, and it was deeply sad. So alive, I had this feeling that “it” wanted to tell me something. So, I decided to ask.
“Why are you sad?”
“Because mom and dad don’t love me”.
And before I could even start to process this, there was this feeling of intense love. Stillness, silent love. What? How? And then, the familiar sensation of a “download”. A new realization is here, and I totally get it. I feel so much love right now, I can’t even speak. My mind is silent. Not even a thought. The ocean is not moving. Like a mirror. And, I am in a complete state of awe. Time stands still. God, I love how this feels.
So now, how on earth would I teach my mind what I already deeply know? The thing I just “downloaded”? By using words of course, as I always do. Here’s my honest attempt.
Before we start
To keep this as auntetic as possible, I am going to be brave and just let the words come out of me. I have a feeling this post is going to present a challenge to the mind, but still penetrates to a deeper place in you, as it did in me. Also, you may notice the voice or tone here is not my usual. And that’s because I just let things go as freely as I can. Who or what is exactly behind this message is beyond my understanding at this point, to be honest.
Also, as I am writing this post, I feel something deep inside of me has totally shifted. So much, it almost as my life has just started. Rebirth, or, a “major upgrade”. This is how significant this realization I am about to share feels to me.
It’s OK to FEEL
Back to last night. So, there’s this gentle beautiful being, that is feeling this deep sadness. And that is because his parents didn’t love him. And despite of that, or perhaps because of that, this lack of love only makes him feel even more love. Then, a realization comes.
There’s the emotion we feel. And then, there’s the meaning, or the idea we have about the emotion. And these are two different things. These are separate things. They are not related at all. Yet, we have been constantly conditioned to believe they are. Our mind is conditioned to connect them. To see them as they are one.
And before I was able to think too much, another one:
We live in a society that judges and criticizes everything, including human emotions. Natural, wonderful human emotions and feelings! One of the most amazing intimate human expressions! And our society is constantly “teaching” us, this emotion is good, but that emotion is wrong. This emotion is better than that emotion.
It’s ok to cry in a sad movie and experience sadness and even depression, because it’s just a movie. Its ok to be sad when someone dies, or when your favorite team lost. Why? Because, that’s considered acceptable in our society. But, it’s not ok to feel sadness in other situations that are less acceptable.
Years later, we automatically judge our own intimate natural emotions and feelings. And, we are not even aware of that. After all, this is what we have trained our minds to do all our life.
I mean, even on an intellectual mind level, one can recognizes that this is not natural, and totally artificial. But, don’t give up just yet, there’s still a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
Accept your Feeling. Love your Emotions.
You may find that you need to give some space in order for this discovery to fully sink in. After all, we are talking about a lifetime of conditioning on one of the most intimate deep basic human expressions. Our own feelings and emotions! What is life without these?
Guys, this is so important. We must become fully aware of this. And we also need to be very clear and honest with ourselves. And by honest, I mean that we need to accept the fact that we currently have ideas and beliefs that make us place judgement every time we experience certain emotions and feelings.
Also, it’s important and helpful to mention that it’s nobody’s fault, and we are not victims either. These points of views are nothing but more ideas and beliefs which have never really helped anyone.
So, can you see the light I promised you somewhere on the horizon? When you experience an emotion, see if you can also observe thoughts that judge or criticize that emotion. In particular, if there is a sense of discomfort, or egoic patterns. For example, if you feel better or less than someone else. Now that you are aware, if you can recognize these, then these connections in your mind are already starting to become loose. Now, that you are aware of this, your clever beautiful mind is going to do all this work for you. It’s going to clean up the mess.
It’s time to feel!
The Gift of Feeling
You feel sadness, and you are a man. Not good, right? Big boys don’t cry. Here’s another one. You feel depression. So deep, you may even consider taking your own life. It’s intense, and it’s dark. As if dark clouds cover the entire sky. There’s no sun, and in fact, there’s barely any light. Now that you think about it, you can’t even breathe.
Have you ever felt as there’s something completely wrong with you or your life? Why can’t I just be happy, successful, pretty, or smart like him or her?
Well, guess what. Its ok to feel. And not only that this is ok, it’s a natural human expression. Just like breathing. It’s our birthright. It what makes us who we are. Beautiful sensitive loving human beings.
But then, there’s this meaning we have been conditioned to give to those emotions. Big boys don’t cry kind of thing. And this goes together with all the other beliefs and ideas we have picked unconsciously and innocently along the way. This ends today. This ends now. And, this has already started.
And, the moment, the moment, you recognize these false connections in your mind, and allow your mind to freely express these variety of human expressions, a beautiful truth reveals.
A Beautiful Truth Reveals
Under all these emotions, there is only love. Love and gratitude. You feel grateful for this rare gift that gives you, the being, the ability to feel. To breathe. To live.
Now, think about this for a moment. In any given second, your body can generate enough hormones and chemicals that can change your mood from feeling like you are the happiest person on earth, to the most unlucky depressed one. We literally live in a biological human chemistry lab. No perceptions are needed. Just show up and we’ll hook you up.
It’s Safe to Feel
I had a feeling this is going to be a long post. I guess I didn’t realize how long, though. In case you are still here, reading these words, now is a perfect time to simply express how grateful I am to you.
So, perhaps now is also a perfect time to go over some practical things. A new emotion comes and now you feel like there’s a little storm inside of you. Where do we go from here? Tell your mind it is safe to feel.
Always remember this.
What you are experiencing right now is a true wonder. A raw intense emotion in such an intimate way. We have such great movie theaters with all these 3D technologies. All these bells and whistles. Not to mention, virtual reality. Yet, nothing even comes close to the human expression of experiencing a raw emotion or a feeling. Just think about your first love. Is this stuff even real?
When you mind stops to judge emotions, when you truly accept them as they are, (and I mean raw emotions, not emotions plus meanings), you then allow your mind to safely and freely express these emotions. It’s a different life, I am telling you. And, it is full of love and joy. Even when you experience sadness. And, I am going to be brave enough and say that this is enough reason for me to live. Regardless of what emotion I may end up expressing.
And Now…Back to our Beautiful Society
So, I stopped writing, as I felt the need to walk. You know, one of these epic morning walks where your mind, body and spirit all enjoy some free movement in nature. Feeling all vibrant and energized by these discoveries I just shared, I also realized that we have just opened a door to another realization. Not one of these rabbit holes, though, I promise.
See, we live in times where our society often demonstrates a very aggressive human expression. Especially, when it comes to the way we are forced to do things. And even more, in the way we are forced to think and believe. Since the day we are born, there’s this constant “teaching”. You know, where everyone and anyone around us tell us how to live our life. What to do, what not to do, the famous good vs. bad thing which is nothing but a cluster of ideas and beliefs. Surely, they all know exactly what they’re talking about, right?
Now, this “education” includes a very dramtic piece that makes even the most laid back parents become all serious, all of a sudden. That is, what is considered a desirable social behavior, and god forbid, what is not. And, it’s not about them, it is for the benefit of their children. Or, is it not?
Is this Even my Life? or, Is it Somebody’s Else?
So, we started to talk about this so called “education”, right? We go to school and there’s this thing called grades. Yes, very quickly an authority figure comes and measures our performance. Under a magnifying glass, I must say. This will tell the world if we are good or bad. We of course, accept this. We are still young, innocent, with a loving nature. So, we start to believe we are equal to our grades. This is just one example out of so many. The common theme here, is that we keep accepting what other people say we are.
And, we can stop here, because I think we all know where I am going with this. Not to mention, this is a very long post as it is. Our fresh and curious minds eagerly absorb everything like a sponge. Our mind is so clever, it connects all these isolated conditioning and starts to form neural connections. Innocently, we accept all of this conditioning and now we have some strong opinions, beliefs and ideas about ourselves and about the world.
There are certain things that truly matter to us now. And I mean, big time. Just ask yourself. What do you think is important to you in your life? And then, ask yourself again. Are you sure this opinion or belief of yours is true? Or perhaps, this is just another idea you have picked along the way?
Freedom of Thought, Freedom of Emotion
Now, we have all heard about the importance of freedom of speech. I often wonder, though, with all this aggressive conditioning all around us, do we even have something much more fundamental and intimate. I call it, freedom of thought. How about freedom of feeling and emotion? And I mean, to freely think and feel without bias, without fear, or any judgement, is to have this type of freedom. And, I should also say self-judgement, right?
This is another important point we all need to become aware of in ourselves, and in others. We are all in this together. When was the last time you met someone that has demonstrated a raw expression of freedom of thought, emotion and feeling? When was the last time you have expressed these? And if you did meet such an individual, are you sure he or she were humans? 🙂
With all this conditioning, it seems as the human mind reflects more the ideas and beliefs of our society at this time and place, than our own true selves. Our beautiful true nature is buried deep down there, under a pile of messy sticky clutter. And this is strongly related to what we have discussed about emotions. This is why something in me wasn’t completely ready to wrap up this post earlier, before my walk.
Now, the philosopher in me feels kind of fancy and is totally awake. Time for some sarcastic egoic “wisdom”. Ready? We can also say this human behavior is simply another human expression. Or, a natural human evolution. But, that is besides the point. Plus, I promised no rabbit holes today.
But just to be clear here, I am not trying to place judgement on our society, or complain about how messed up of a species we humans are. I am simply trying to increase the awareness here.
Time to wrap up. Now for real.
Live Life. Be.
If all this “talk” sounds to you like one of these sci-fi end of the world kind of movies, then you may want to consider this. As we all know, this aggressive behaviour of humans has been one of the constants of the human expression on earth. And, you really don’t have to dig too deep into the history books to recognize that. Humans have forced other humans to serve them, to follow their ideologies, ideas and beliefs. And when it came to that, the end (or cause) has always “justified” the means. Century after century, and the history repeats itself. As nothing has changed.
And, it’s really not a thing of the past either. Another constant is the so called “reason” or justification for expressing force. Now, on the surface this may have changed. We have become more “civilized”. We don’t just throw nuclear bombs anymore or slaughter entire villages. But, under the hood, the concept has always been and is still the same. Humans use force on other humans. And this force has many shapes and forms. It can be physical violence – from swords to weapons of mass destruction, mental, think about this online shaming thing, but then also, subtle ways of mind manipulation we often call “education”, “science”, “politics”, “media”, and other names.
Does it mean education or science are not true, or don’t bring value? of course not. And that’s not where I am going at all. I think we should all consider how our society may influence our freedom. I mean, we spoke here about some profound discoveries regarding our ability to freely think, feel and basically live our life.
And, just in case you wonder why this post feels so dark and heavy all of a sudden, here’s a little reminder. Remember that light at the end of the tunnel? The fact that I am aware of these things, the fact that you read these words and now become aware too, is enough light. At least in my eyes. Can you (freely) feel this?
As always, aloha and love.
